Cone of Shame

Cone of Shame

“The oppressed get justice with you.

The hungry are satisfied with you.

Prisoners find their freedom with you.

You open the eyes of the blind

and you fully restore those bent over with shame.

You love those who love and honor you.”

Psalms 146:7-8

Paris, a beautiful 2 year old black cat, found his way into our hearts and home a few months ago.  Being a male cat and not being neutered, we had the obligation of taking him to the vet to have the procedure done.  Due to some complications Paris had, he was sent home with the dreaded cone of shame.  

The veterinarian told us that when we got home we could probably remove the cone. We were ensured that Paris would more than likely sleep the rest of the night due to medicine he received.  Sarah took off his cone after an hour or so of being home.  My goodness was that vet wrong.  

There was no way Sarah could have prepared herself for what Paris was about to do. When the cone of shame that was tied around Paris’s neck was removed, immediately he went jumping off the chair and began running in circles like a crazy cat all over the house!  She was petrified, fearing that her cat was going to hurt himself! 

When all of this commotion happened, I hadn’t been home.  After I got home, Sarah filled me in on all the excitement.  Immediately I asked Sarah why Paris acted that crazy. She said something that has remained with me.  What did she say? She said,  “Because he was free!”  

We had to keep that cone of shame on Paris for 2 weeks.  Every time we had to put that cone on him, his whole countenance would immediately change.  He would go from walking with his head held high and with confidence, to walking all coward down and his head lowered.  The cone of shame was truly causing him to walk in shame.

Looking at Paris and his actions when he had that cone of shame tied around his neck, stopped me in my tracks.  When he had that cone on him he was no longer confident and holding his head high. He immediately became timid, he coward down, his head would hang low. What a visual!

Aren’t we the same way? Too many of us carry around our shames. When we carry around our shame, when we feel the weight of it around our necks, it changes who we are. It changes how we carry ourselves, we hang our head and cower down.  It changes our actions, we become weak and timid.   

Ladies, that is not what God intends for us.  He does not want us to walk in shame.  We were never meant to carry around our shame.  We were intended to walk in freedom. You see, this is what His words says.  

“Prisoners find their freedom with you….You 

open the eyes of the blind and you fully restore 

those bent over with shame.”

Psalms 146:7-8

We find our freedom through God! Just like Sarah reached down and removed the cone of shame off Paris’s neck, God does that for us too.  He FREES us! When we are bent over in shame, He FULLY restores us! 

Do you want to know the really AWESOME part! Unlike Paris, we don’t have to continually put the cone of shame back on! We get to leave it off! We are FREE! Free to walk with our heads held high!  Free to walk in confidence in Christ!  We are even free to run in circles around our house if we want! You want to know why? Because we are FREE to be crazy women for Jesus! 

 Music For You: 

• I am Free by New Life Worship

Be Still

Be Still

I am standing in absolute stillness, silent before the one I love, waiting as long as it takes for him to rescue me.  Only God is my Savior, and he will not fail me.  For he alone is my safe place. His wrap-around presence always protects me as my champion defender.  There’s no risk of failure with God! So why would I let worry paralyze me, even when troubles multiply around me?

Psalms 62:5-6

It was 3:30pm and I had been sitting on my bed for 30 minutes. As I was sitting there trying to focus my mind and heart, I knew I needed to hear from God. I had to speak to a group of girls at my church that night and my mind was completely blank.  

My week had been absolutely crazy and I felt depleted of everything! My grandma had passed away, and I had just spoken at her funeral that morning.  I could stop right there at reasons why I felt depleted.  But adding that to the crazy week I already had which consisted of taking my daughter to an out of town doctor appointment, being asked to speak to a girls class at my church and having an important phone conference scheduled for later that week, I was on overload!  They were all good obligations, but added onto my normal obligations, I was completely overwhelmed!

I reached out to a friend in my overwhelmedness.  At first, just to try and help me focus.  As our conversation continued though, I knew that I wasn’t supposed to talk to the girls that night.  As I was telling her how mentally done I was for the week, she reassured me and said, “You are allowed to say no.” Which, is a very hard word for me to say.  She went on to say that, “It’s time to be still. Rest in His presence and soak.”   

It’s so hard for me to say no that even during our conversation, I still felt guilty saying the word “No” and not doing this good obligation.  I was still looking for ways that I could still talk to the girls, even when I knew that the only obligation God wanted me to do at that point was to be still.  In the end, I graciously backed out of speaking to the class.  

Instead of speaking, I went into the church service.  As I was sitting there waiting for the service to start, soaking music was playing.  You will never believe what 2 of the 3 songs that they played were about! BEING STILL!  When the first song came on, I smiled a little and thanked God for His confirmation.  As the second song about being still played, I giggled!  I looked at a friend of mine beside me and told her what happened that day and about the word I was given, Be Still.  

God knows us! He loves and cares so much for us! He knows when we are being called to “do” and He knows when we are being called to “be still”.  He knows how our minds work.  He knows how guilt can set in when we say no to obligations, especially good obligations.  That’s the goodness of our God though! When we are following His ways and plans, He will send confirmations…sometimes two…to help us and to confirm to us to Be Still.

Funny thing is though, I had even more than 2 confirmations! The very next day I was talking to a friend.  I had some questions to ask her about a phone conference I was having the next day. During our conversation, you will never guess what she told me, “BE STILL!”  

Ladies, I have learned something from all of this, and I want to share it with you!  There is FREEDOM to be found in just being still. When we are overwhelmed and our schedule is full, we need to let God refresh us.  How do we do that? 

“I am standing in absolute stillness, silent before the one I love….”

Psalms 62:5

By allowing yourself much needed time to be absolutely still, silent, resting in His Presence. When you are overwhelmed, allow yourself to say no and instead be still, that is where true freedom is found!

Music For You: 

• Be Still My Soul (In You I Rest) by Kari Jobe
  

Legacy of Love

Legacy of Love

When I was asked to speak about my grandma today, a lot of different feelings came over me.  But as I processed it, I knew that it was an honor to be able to honor her.   So here I am.  My grandma was an amazing woman! She left so many amazing memories for us all, but she also left a legacy, a legacy of love.  She loved each and everyone of her grandchildren and great grandchildren so much. Even over the years as my sister and I babysat, she would love on those babies too. Then came along the Crain’s and I can honestly say, she loved those babies as they were her own grandchildren.

“Many women have done wonderful things,

    but you’ve outclassed them all!”

Proverbs 31:29

When I read this scripture, I knew that it described how I and many others felt about her.  My grandma was a quiet lady, she didnt always have alot to say. But Grandpa always seemed to talk enough for the both of them.  They complimented each other well that way.  My grandma endured many storms in her life, she suffered the loss of a full term child, she battled 3 rounds of cancer.  Through all of those storms, I never heard my grandma complain once.  She was never a “woe is me” woman. She was truly a strong, irish warrior.  

“And may you be surrounded by your grandchildren.

    Happiness to you! And happiness to Israel!”

Psalms 128:6 

It is hard to honor my grandma without talking about my grandpa too.  They were a team and most the time where you found one, you found the other.  Growing up, there are so many memories with my grandparents.  Almost every summer we would all go on family vacation together. Those are memories that I will never forget, camping in North Carolina along the ocean, traveling up the East Coast to Nova Scotia.  Priceless memories.  Not to mention the countless trips we took up to the lakes and to Toft’s for ice cream or just hoping in the vehicle and going to Hartville or Amish Country. 

Later in life, Jason and I had the honor of taking them on what might have been their last vacation.  Grandma & Grandpa were known for getting in the car and driving hours to go to a good restarunt.  Well, this time they decided they wanted seafood, and not just any seafood, they wanted to go to Captain George’s in Williamsburg, Virginia.  They were 89 years old and couldn’t drive that far, so they asked Jason and I to take them.  We all piled in our van and set out for Williamsburg. Once again, priceless, my children were able to experience a family vacation, just like I had, with my grandma & grandpa.  Memories we will all cherish and hold dear.  

When my sister and I were young, in the winter, if there was a snow day, we would all pile in their van and go on an adventure. We never knew where we would end up, but it was always fun. As kids, my grandparents made doll furniture and it was always fun to go along with them to craft shows and help them.  We would get up in the wee hours of the morning just to be able to go along with them. Not many kids would do that, but we loved them and loved being with them.  All the lessons, love and legacy that my grandma & grandpa instilled in us.  It is easy to say that my grandparents were always surrounded by their grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

My grandparents always knew that this was only their temporary home, that their permanent home was in Heaven.  Grandma & Grandpa had great love for their grandchildren and great grandchildren, they always wanted to be surrounded by them here on earth. But their greatest heart desire was to know that each and every one of their grandchildren and great grandchildren would eventually surround them in their permanent home, Heaven. 

“For wives, this means being supportive to your husbands like you are tenderly devoted to our Lord, for the husband provides leadership for the wife, just as Christ provides leadership for his church, as the Savior and Reviver of the body. In the same way the church is devoted to Christ, let the wives be devoted to their husbands in everything.”

Ephesians 5:22-24

One of the most valuable lessons that I learned from my grandparents, was how it looked to love your spouse.  Never in my 40 years did I ever hear them bicker, or fight or talk bad about each other.  Even up until the end, I remember my grandpa buying these glass roses for my grandma on Valentines day or their anniversary.  Even when they were 97, they were still holding hands.  My grandparents truly loved each other. My Grandma was supportive and devoted to my Grandpa. 

I will always cling to this memory that was always talked about.  My Grandma when she was 25, she boarded a train and road west from Smithville/Wooster, Ohio and rode it all the way to California where my Grandpa was stationed in the Air Force.  It always blew my mind, a quiet, reserved woman like my grandma doing that.  How they loved each other and how they respected each other is a legacy of love that my kids were able to witness.

When I learned that Hospice had been called in for my Grandma, it hurt my heart. I was deeply saddened at what loss we were going to suffer.  I asked my husband that evening, is it okay for me to be sad, but glad.  Of course, his response was “yes”. But this is why I asked him that question.  

My grandpa passed away in June of 2016.  One common conversation between them was always that grandma needed to take care of herself, because grandpa wanted to celebrate their 100 year birthdays together.  Well, grandpa ended up going to heaven first.  Ever since grandpa passed away, I knew that it would be hard for everyone to face grandma celebrating 100 here on earth, without grandpa. If we are all honest, we all wanted her to be with grandpa for that. Now they will get to celebrate this milestone together. Grandpa’s 100th birthday would have been February 15th and my Grandma’s would have been April 1st. When my grandpa passed, they were married for 72 years! And now they they will also get to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary together, which would have been February 12th. 

What a lasting legacy of love that we witnessed, but also a lasting legacy to be able to share with others.  I am sure that when my grandma gets to see Jesus, “well done thou good and faithful servant”, will come from His lips.